3.18.17 Book Haul and Other Stuff!

Spring break is almost over, I’ve accomplished nothing, and books are the reason why I will never have enough money for a tattoo.

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Barnes and Noble is one of my happy places, a relaxing journey through endless rows of possibilities (provided I stay away from the Teen Fiction section).  Today I was lucky enough to be serenaded by Tina Guo’s cello re-imagining of all your favourite themes while I browsed.

Patrick Rothfus in The Name of the Wind, 2007

The Name of the Wind

“Told in Kvothe’s own voice, this is the tale of the magically gifted young man who grows to be the most notorious wizard his world has ever seen.

The intimate narrative of his childhood in a troupe of traveling players, his years spent as a near-feral orphan in a crime-ridden city, his daringly brazen yet successful bid to enter a legendary school of magic, and his life as a fugitive after the murder of a king form a gripping coming-of-age story unrivaled in recent literature.

A high-action story written with a poet’s hand, The Name of the Wind is a masterpiece that will transport readers into the body and mind of a wizard.”

This book came recommended by a B&N employee listing that our hero uses ‘music, magic, and muscle’.  I’ve read Song of the Beast by Carol Berg which uses music as a vehicle for the story (which is fantastic btw), and I’m a bit of a musician myself so it immediately caught my eye.

Nagabe in The Girl from the Other Side: Siúil, a Rún, 2016the girl from hte other side

“In a world split between the Inside and the Outside, those living in both realms are told never to cross over to the other side, lest they be cursed. A young girl named Shiva lives on the other side, in a vacant village with a demonic guardian known only as “Teacher.” Although the two are forbidden to touch, they seem to share a bond that transcends their disparate appearances. But when Shiva leaves Teacher’s care to seek out her grandmother, the secret behind her mysterious living arrangement comes to light.”

What immediately struck me about this book was how gorgeous the art is.  It reminds me of Mateusz Skutnik’s Morfołaki, featuring beautifully atmospheric black and white art.  I am definitely looking forward to digging into this little beauty.  The subtitle Siúil, a Rún comes from an Irish folk song, and translates roughly to ‘Go, my love’.

Stephen King in The Gunslinger, 1982               The Gunslinger

“An impressive work of mythic magnitude that may turn out to be Stephen King’s greatest literary achievement” (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution), The Gunslinger is the first volume in the epic Dark Tower Series.

A #1 national bestseller, The Gunslinger introduces readers to one of Stephen King’s most powerful creations, Roland of Gilead: The Last Gunslinger. He is a haunting figure, a loner on a spellbinding journey into good and evil. In his desolate world, which mirrors our own in frightening ways, Roland tracks The Man in Black, encounters an enticing woman named Alice, and begins a friendship with the boy from New York named Jake.

Inspired in part by the Robert Browning narrative poem, “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came,” The Gunslinger is “a compelling whirlpool of a story that draws one irretrievable to its center” (Milwaukee Sentinel). It is “brilliant and fresh…and will leave you panting for more” (Booklist).”

I’ve never read a Stephen King book, and while I know he has written things other than horror, I didn’t realize that Stephen King writes books other than horror.  Unless of course this turns out to be a western-horror, which I would be okay with.  My only real exposure to SK is the film The Shinning which I watched recently while suffering from a head cold.  I grabbed this based on the title, which made me think of Trigun and everyone’s favourite pacifist.

Michael I. Bennett, MD and Sarah Bennett in F*ck Love, 2017F.ck Love

“From the brilliant New York Times bestselling authors of the “refreshingly blunt” (Harper’s Bazaar) F*ck Feelings—this seriously irreverent roadmap reveals the essentials to look for when you’re done being suckered by the promise of true love and want help seeking a real, lasting relationship.

Many people have opinions on the subject of romantic relationships—why they’re so hard to find, so difficult to maintain, so easily analogized to planets and pets—but the real source of trouble isn’t too complicated: it’s that we are choosing our partners based on love, excitement, lust, attraction, neediness…on feelings.

Instead of helping readers find true love (also known as “total bullshit”), Dr. Michael Bennett and his comedy-writing daughter Sarah reveal the practical, commonsense criteria for good partnerships that will allow real love to develop, even after the romance has died down or been buried completely. Finding a good partner involves losing preconceived notions about who your dream date might be, so the Bennetts helpfully appraise the pros and cons of eight traits people most commonly seek: charisma, beauty, chemistry, communication, sense of humor, family stability, intelligence, and wealth. They suggest you’ll have better luck finding a partner in a bar, online, or on a date arranged by your chiropractor if you focus on ideas like mutual attraction and respect and common interests and common goals. With helpful quizzes, case studies inspired by Dr. Bennett’s practice, and unscientific flow charts, F*ck Love is packed with enough advice and wisdom to help you avoid the relationship nightmares that led you to this book in the first place.”

Yes, yes, this title is (as admitted by the book its self)  catchy and profane, but it caught my attention as it was intended to do and whether or not you agree with it’s language, it is a good marketing ploy.  This book just seems like a fun, satirical take on romance, while still being helpful.  It was just so eye catching I couldn’t not pick it up.

Other stuff that has happened includes these journals I made from old notebooks.  I used yarn to hold them together , but turns out my mom has nice hemp cord, so I’m re-tying them.  Not quite sure what I’ll use these for, but they are so pretty now x33.20170317_163956 (1)

Also, my dad looked like Tom Hanks 23 years ago (what both of them looked like 23 years ago).

Whelp, I will eventually have some more posts, I’ve been listening to exorbitant amounts of music thanks to Spotify Premium for students (#notsponsored) and I have an exorbitant amount of books I haven’t read yet.  Sooooo yah.

Thanks for being here! ❤

[Synopses and book covers from Goodreads.com | Featured Image from Pexels.com]

‘Book Club’: Horus Rising Part 3 Ch. 3-4 FINAL

If you’re new to the book club, check out the first post in the series ‘Book Club’: Horus Rising Ch. 1-3.

You can find the previous post HERE.

Guys.

Shit.

Goes.

Down.

It’s been a month since I’ve read this…so let’s see how this goes!

HORUS is pretty annoyed that they haven’t been able to come to terms with the interex.  HORUS is intent on peacefully winning them over, but he’s about the only one.  However a meeting is arranged and he optimistically hopes for peace.  Both HORUS and Jeptha Naud (do they mean Judd Nelson?) have their warriors walk simultaneous patrols around the building.

While wandering the house Loken comes across an old book titled A Marvelous Historie of Eevil subtitle Being a warninge to Man Kind on the Abuses of Sorcerie and the Seduction of the Daemon.  WHY, Abnett.  Why must you spell this way.  Regardless of spelling, Mithras Tull sees Loken looking at the book and they strike up a conversation about deamons and magic and such.  Loken of course holds staunchly to his view of “supernatural things do not exist”, while Tull takes the whole matter very seriously.  The subject of Chaos (or Kaos) comes up and Tull is shocked at Loken’s lack of knowldege, interest, concern, fear of Chaos.  He explains that the interex understands Chaos to be an evil force that makes men turn on each other and manifests as “brutal, rapacious, warlike”, and the fact that the Astartes are led by a Warmaster scares the interex.  Loken somehow believes his people to be none of those things.  Even more surprising is that Tull agrees.

For all of two seconds.

Tull receives some message that turns him against Loken.  Loken refuses to surrender and a fight ensues.  Loken is unwilling to kill Tull, so he merely chops his arm off.  The resulting battle between interex and Astartes produces heavy casualties on both sides.  Loken runs into two Astartes in the hall and one is quickly felled by arrows.  The bows that the soldiers had laughed at previously prove to be deadly, shearing through the Astarte’s plate as if it were butter. Loken then runs into Tarik and his men, retreating with HORUS.

We find that someone has gone and murdered some guards and stolen something from the museum holding all the ‘dwarf’ artifacts and then set the place on fire.  Well that wasn’t very nice.

Tarik and Loken try to convince HORUS that they have to leave now, but HORUS commands them to take him to the Hall of Devices to see what is going on.  Nothing useful happens and HORUS and his entourage are surrounded by interex fighters.  In a last attempt at peace, HORUS asks to see Judd Nelson but is answered with arrows.  So they fight.  HORUS and his men drive the interex back to the street and are promptly surrounded.  This is the last stand.  There is no hope…

Chapter 4 starts with an exchange between Sadie and Loken after the battle.  So I guess they made it.

Lowercase Horus arrived to rescue HORUS and all Imperial soldiers.  They kill a lot of interex dudes.  Like, it’s terrible.

HORUS changes the name of the Luna Wolves to the Sons of Horus.  Everyone approves.  Ig drinks his approval and Keeler worships her shrine to the Emperor of Mankind.

And then we find out that Erebus THAT BLEEP BLEEP EREBUS STOLE THE THING FROM THE THING!  You butt-face!  Wait.  Who is Erebus?  Seriously.  Who is he?  The Dramatis Personae at the beginning of the book says he is the Chaplain, but has he been mentioned before?  I don’t think so?  I don’t know?  ARGH I’M SO CONFUSED.

Well that was Horus Rising.  I can’t say I liked it, but I didn’t hate all of it.  I liked the second half of Part 1, but the rest was…eh.  I don’t know if it was the writing, the story, the characters, or the crushing obligation to blog the whole book.  But we’ve finished!  It’s finally over!  Hopefully all my bad jokes paid off and you look forward to next summer’s book club (which will hopefully only last a summer) despite the deterioration of professionalism as the posts went on.  I am planning on reading False Gods, the sequal to Horus Rising written by Graham McNeill to give the series a fair chance, with the goal of writing a single review of that book whenever the time comes.

This has been the first iteration of Hatchet’s Summer Book Club.

Thanks for being here! ❤

I, Frankenstein: A Stream of conciousness Review

Once upon a time at the conception of this blog, I thought I would do movie reviews.  I found one.  It’s bizarre.  Consider this a review of a review of a weird movie that makes no sense.

“I’m about to watch I, Frankenstein, but I have to write everything instead of…” (instead of typing I’m assuming?  For some reason?)

“Voice over!  Honest trailers would hate this x3” (Ah, my days of obsession with Honest Trailers.  They still haven’t made one for this movie btw)

“This was definitely made by the people who made Underworld” (I mean, it was so obvious.  The title, the leather, the actors…)

“What have you done to Harvey-face and Scary-face?!” (I used to think College Humor was funny.  Bad Man was pretty funny though.  And I love those Drawfee guys)

“It’s Ghost rider!” (I have no idea what this means.  I haven’t watched this movie in at least 4 years)

“I knew Gargoyles were real!! (creatures I mean, as in they’re alive)”

“Not that kind of alive xp” (I guess because they’re humans kind of?)

“Their accents aren’t right for that area…and I know my Frankenstein” (I’m assuming they have British Accents which seems to be the default accent for fantasy.  Also, considering that the Underworld guys have British accents despite the films being set in some Eastern European country.  Further, I very much enjoy Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and the titular character spends most of his time not in London)

“OMG EOWYN! (I knew that)” (I take it this is where I recognized the actress)

“Dude!  It’s that guy from Jack Reacher!” (Meaning Jai Courtney, an actor I found quite attractive four years ago)

“They’re sleeping together” (???????)

“Holy Medieval castle Batman!” (Castle must have been impressive)

“She’s kind of hot…” (Was I talking about Eowyn?  Somebody else?  There is no context for this)

“That guy is definitely hot” (Again, who am I even referring too?)

“At least they don’t call him Frankenstein” (Meaning the monster, which is quite irritating when that happens.  So +1 for the movie)

“By the power of Sprite I compel you!” (This is the End reference.  Probably the best part of that movie honestly)

“Descended?  We k-worded them dude!” (This is a Deadpool reference?  I guess when someone ‘dies’ they powers that be say they were descended…)

“Victor, is that you?” (Of course it is)

“Ooh!  I know her!” (Do I?)

“Is that that werewolf? – IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (A werewolf I mean Lycan, obviously, from Underworld)

“It k-worded some of us”

“You needed to say his name or otherwise I would have never known” (This could be sincere or sarcasm, I really have no idea)

“That guys voice is epic!” (That giant Lycan dude with that sick, gnarly bass voice)

“Slow motion jump attack!” (Literal trailer reference here, specifically Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood)

“Ooh, fireworks!” (Fireworks give me migraines now xp)

“It’s the wrapture!  This is the end!” (This is the End reference again, I don’t recall liking the movie that much, but whatever.  Also not sure why I miss-spelled rapture)

“I’m not sure I understand.  It looks super easy to kill demons” (I guess someone is having trouble killing demons despite the movie making it look super easy to kill demons.  Movie logic)

“So gargoyles really are supposed to scare demons” (I mean, obviously)

“Is that the Lycan doctor?  I guess we’ll never know” (I want to say that I’ve been spelling Lycan as ‘lichen’ this whole time)

“Victor is always an idealist.  Also a crackpot” (what does crackpot even mean?)

“What a jaunty camera angle” (I now know those are called ‘Dutch angles’)

“Possibilities for the blonde chick: Abigail Chase” (From National Treasure obviously.  Upon further research however, she is Sarah from Chuck)

“How convenient, Subways” (Subway or subway?  I mean, if I was hungry a subway would be next to useless, but if I wanted to travel across a city…)

“I bet she’s wondering if his, uh, you-know-what works” (Well then)

“‘Examine’ he means sexy-times” (I’m extremely embarrassed here)

“You are a strange patchwork man.  I will trust you completely” (With really bad guy-liner)

“This is Canada Nell.  Things are real here.” (Obviously, the best Brendan Fraser movie ever made)

“This is my Batman voice” (Is this that Lycan guy again?)

“He has a skull full of steel” (Is Wolverine in this movie too?  I forgot a lot of plot points)

“Human plinko!” (Titanic reference I guess?  I’m a terrible human)

“So why don’t they possess him?” (Who is they?  Who is him?  WHY WAS I SO VAGUE!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!)

“I’m good at negotiating, I’m a doctor.  Also I don’t close my door” (Movie people being stupid for plot reasons)

“I will become a shadow.  A dark knight” (Another Batman reference)

“Hasn’t he seen Young Frankenstein?”

“She lives in a really terrible apartment”

“That guy’s voice is so awesome”

“OMG.  Even though we tried to k-word you before, we’re besties for life, right?”

“Can gargoyles teleport?” (Yes.  This makes sense)

“OMG, Batman and Rachel” (?)

“Guy’s he’s right there.  He’s pretending to be an extra” (movie villains being stupid because our hero can’t die)

“Never say ‘I’d rather die'” (seriously.  It’s the worst thing you could do to yourself)

“Aww, her boyfriend is dead” (Wait, whose?  It’s either Abigail Sarah or Eowyn.  They are the only two women in this movie)

“Woah!  Arc reactor!”

“You guys are so inconspicuous” (I take it the gargoyles were being SUPER sneaky)

“This music is EPIC” (I must have liked the music)

“Dude you are so less cool as a demon” (wHOOOOOOOOOO)

“When they zoom in on a gargoyle, am I supposed to know who it is?” (My favourite part about movies with faceless masses.  They show people in the battle scenes as if we care about someone who isn’t the main character)

“Well the credit music is good”

Well that was that.  I am obviously a natural at reviews.  Aren’t you glad I don’t do this?

‘Book Club’: Horus Rising Part 3 Ch. 1-2: Space Australia, Museum of Death

Welcome back to Hatchet’s Summer Book Club!  If you’re new, check out the first post in the series ‘Book Club’: Horus Rising Ch. 1-3.

You can find the previous post HERE and the next post HERE (whenever that happens).

Part 3 Chapter 1 introduces us to the interex, a human collection(?).  The Imperium peacefully become the interex’s guests…FOR NOW (duh duh duuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh). I’m beginning to see how the series got it’s title.

Most people, including Eidolon, Maloghurst, Sedirae, Targost, and Goshen and Raldoron (those last two are Blood Angels) want to destroy the interex because they don’t want the Imperium to co-exist the with anything, and the interex is too compassionate.  According to them, the differences between the Imperium and the interex are so irreconcilable that war is the only possible course of action.  Good guy HORUS would prefer peace.

HORUS and the Mournival meet to discuss the situation.  Abaddon is quite belligerent, unable to understand how his Warmaster could desire peace with and almost admire the interex.  The argument gets so heated, HORUS kicks him out of the meeting.  Tarik follows him to diffuse the situation.  HORUS then tells lowercase Horus and Loken about his father-son relationship with the Emperor, using the zodiac to explain his desire for peace.

The Emperor had given HORUS an astrology book.  HORUS memorized the 20 zodiacs and when asked, said his favourites were Leos, Skorpos, Tauromach, and Arbitos (Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, and Virgo?).  The Emperor was impressed but dissapointed that HORUS had not chosen Sagittary, as he was to become the Emperor’s Warmaster.  However, HORUS admires the interex for their compassion and capacity to integrate other species into their society.  Lowercase Horus is having none of it.  HORUS also said the Emperor told him ‘Make no mistakes, and the stars will be ours” (or thereabouts).  He thinks he as made two mistakes (only tow?!?!  Wow, HORUS is a saint), and does not want to rush into things with the interex.

The interex have developed a musical way to communicate with other species called the aria.  It is very much like music, but so complexly mathematical that only a plebeian would mistake it for music.

Music is math people.

We then get a description of the interex envoy sent to meet HORUS.  Despite being human, these people sound much more elf like or some other humanoid alien (although we do have women with helmet shaped heads so….).  They are tall, about the same height as the Astartes, but very slender with bat ears…  I’m not kidding.  It is literally printed on the page that humans evolved (and surgically created) bat ears.  There are men who play the aria dressed in robes, and the soldiers are dressed in form fitting armour, so light you could jump on a horse!  (Please don’t jump on horses, they are extremely fragile).  With these hooman things, come what could only be described as space dwarves.  Short, broad, and stony features.  These dwarf guys are an alien species the interex have absorbed into their culture (lowercase Horus is not impressed).

Daith Shehn, envoy for the interex, and HORUS meet to discuss stuff.  They start with formalities and Daith is excited to learn that the interex has found lost cousins.  HORUS is equally excited.  They compare military forces, with Daith showing concern for how prepared and eager the Imperium is for war.  The interex has no love of war and would rather co-exist with the aliens they come across.  The spider-mechs are an exception, as the interex found no way to communicate with them, even using the aria.  They defeated the spider-mechs in war and placed the remaining creatures onto Murder, or Urisarach as they call it, where they could live in peace with no way to bother anyone else.  HORUS apologizes for ruining their penal colony.

Chapter 2 sees a rather shouty discussion between the Mournival about the interex, and more specifically about HORUS’ apology.  Abaddon is the only one who is truly upset, the others having full trust in HORUS no matter what he says.  There has also been a heavy demand on the Warmaster’s time as he’s been gone for seven months now.  The envoys continue until it is decided that HORUS and an entourage will be received at an outpost for more negotiations.

Erebus is introduced, so I can only assume this character will be somewhat important.  He selflessly puts off his own interests to help relieve some of HORUS’s stress, also intentionally strengthening relationships with the Mournival.  They also have sparring matches against each other, with Tarik’s new best friends Saul and also Lucius is there.  Lucius insists on sparring against everyone, including Loken.  Loken does not want to hurt Lucius’ ego, which is probably impossible.  So Loken punches him in the face.  It is quite glorious.

HORUS and his Imperial party are received at the interex homeworld.  Accompanying the terrifying horse-faced Astartes are the Remembrancers, which HORUS hopes will prove to the interex that the Imperium of Man is not obsessed with war (even though they totes are).  The Imperial party is shown around the city, and one of the most interesting things that they see is a museum full of alien weapons and technology.  Lowercase Horus and Abbadon think they are being mocked by this show of weapons. It is explained that these weapons are held in a museum because the technology is so advanced and they are incredibly dangerous.  Sindermann (remember that guy?) asks what could be so dangerous about a knife.  The tiny alien dwarves have a way of creating sentient weapons.  Sindermann jokingly suggests that a curse is placed on the weapon, and the interex, very seriously, agrees.

This is telling of things to come.

This has been Hatchet’s Summer Book Club, thanks for being here! x33

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‘Book Club’: Horus Rising Part 2 Ch. 6 and 7: Dogfights and War

We are back with a new post, and a new look for the new year.  (Let me know what you think of the new theme, can’t decide if I like it or not).

If you’re new to the book club, check out the first post in the series ‘Book Club’: Horus Rising Ch. 1-3.

You can find the previous post HERE and the next post HERE (whenever that happens).

(Editor’s note: although Tarvitz has been mentioned by name more often than Tarik (probably), Torgaddon is too much of a pain to type over and over again so I’m going to retcon all uses of Tarvitz to Saul.)

Part 2 Chapter 6 sees the action return to Murder, Saul and Co. being rescued by Tarik.  While Saul and Eidolon are appreciative, Eidolon is not appreciative (yes, the wording is intentional).  They waste no time insulting each other, Eidolon attacking Tarik’s status as a Luna Wolf (really not sure how he thought that was an insult) and Tarik attacking Eidolon’s incompetence as a commander (which is valid).  So Tarik 1, Eidolon 0.

Tarik has Saul and his remaining men assist him in fending off the possible next wave of Spider-Mecha-dealys.  Lucius wants to kill Tarik for his insolence and calls him a dog while Saul says he quite likes dogs.  I think he has a crush.  Tarik and Eidolon get in another argument about what to do next.  Tarik manages to extract himself from the conversation and inquires of Saul how he can stand to take orders from Eidolon.  Saul simply states that Eidolon is his commander and that is that.  He has to do what Eidolon says whether or not he agrees with it.  Tarik isn’t entirely satisfied with the answer.

The company’s course of action has been determined, despite Tarik and Eidolon’s inability to get along.  They will use explosives to destroy the giant cement trees to interrupt the shield storms, just like Eidolon did earlier.  Saul, being the obedient and humble soldier that he is, seems perfectly content to let Eidolon get all the credit.  Bulle however, is not (Wait, who is Bulle??).  He attempts to speak up, and against Saul and Lucius’ wishes, Tarik lets him.  Bulle reveals that Saul was the one who blew up the trees.  Tarik now has one more reason to dislike Eidolon, commends Saul for his smarts and tells Lucius if Bulle is punished for speaking, the Warmaster will personally strip Lucius of rank.  Something tells me Lucius is starting to resent Saul.

Now we get to spend some time with Loken who is waiting to be called to assist the companies on Murder.  He and an Astartes named Marr and discussing what the landing party is experiencing.  Marr is jealous  and a little nervous because his twin brother was part of the landing party and he wasn’t.  The two are joined by Qruze, a relic who is weird.  He’s like your old, slightly senile grandfather, that you put up with because you love him, but he has no idea what is going on.  Loken quickly exits the coversation, leaving Marr flailing in a sea of unwanted and dubious advice.

Loken has been reading through The Chronicles of Ursh, the book he borrowed at Sindermann’s recommendation.  He doesn’t seem overly fond of the book, but has continued reading for Sindermann’s sake.  While only half comprehending the book, Loken finds a brief account of the men going crazy and turning on each other, much like what hapened to Jubal at the end of Part 1.  He even finds the word ‘sorcery’ used un-ironically, but the rest of the book makes no further references to this event.

Unnerved, Loken puts the book away and finds a data slate containing picts from Keeler.  He pages through them reflecting on how much he loves the picts.  Despite his apparent habit of pouring over these,  he discovers a hidden folder for the first time.  This folder contains pictures from the Whisperheads, and specifically, necromorphy Jubal.  Loken immediately rushes off to see Keeler, asking Nero to keep him up to date is they are called to go to the planet.

Loken finds Ig, who is losing a game of cards.  Ig takes him to see Keeler in her quarters.  She hasn’t been coping well.  Loken asks her about the picts of Jubal and she says that she put them there hoping he’d find them earlier.  Loken’s kind of dumb, huh.  Keeler didn’t remember taking the picts, but upon reviewing them, she found strange distortions to the images.  Loken didn’t see any of this and after Keeler walks him through a ‘zoom and enhance’ sequence we find there is a ghostly aura that was obscuring Jubal in the pict.  The two are mimicking each other.

Loken offers to find out the truth for Keeler, but she says she’d rather live thinking it was some giant dog-like creature than the truth.  She asks how Loken is able to keep secrets and if he would be willing to break from the Imperium if it was for the good of mankind.  He cannot answer her and their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Sanguinius.

Chapter 7 jumps back to a week before the arrival of Sanguinius to explain the character of Sanguinius.  Loken is recounting to Sadie a private event at which ten thousand soldiers were in attendance.  These seems to be the first time Loken saw Sanguinius.  Sadie says she’s heard of him and Loken says that it is all true.

Well that’s not vague and unsatisfying.

So Sanguinius shows up and meets Saul, uninteresting things happen and then the what is possibly the most infuriating and idiotic line happens: “We will murder Murder together.”  Who thought that was a good line?!  It punctuates the scene as the turning point and the reason the Imperium goes to war.  As if HORUS just said something incredibly inspiring.

Infuriating dialogue aside, the Imperium wages a 6 month war against the Spider-Mechs.  The Mournival tries to convince HORUS that he is too precious to die in battle, which offends and amuses him.  He is not swayed and fights regardless.  It is revealed that when around the time HORUS became Warmaster, the Emperor wanted someone (it is unclear as to whether this someone was HORUS or a different commander) to change the name of the XVI Legion to The Sons of Horus.

The six month campaign ends when mysterious battleships appear, asking the Imperium: “What the heck dudes!  We totally warned you!” (my words, not theirs).

Well that’s the end of Part 2.  There are four chapters in Part 3.  Once we finish Horus Rising, I will be doing a normal review of False Gods, the second book in the series to give it a fair chance.

This has been Hatchet’s Summer Book Club, thanks for being here! x33

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Hatchet’s Book Club: Horus Rising Archive

Featured here is the completed Horus Rising blog experience for easy reading convenience!  I will also include a glossary of all the characters I reference because I’ve definitely forgotten who everyone is.

Horus Rising Part 1 Ch. 1-3 | Horus Rising Part 1 Ch. 4-5 | Horus Rising Part 1 Ch. 6-8 | Horus Rising Part 1 Ch. 9-10 | Horus Rising Part 2 Ch. 1-3 | Horus Rising Part 2 Ch. 3 Rehash | Horus Rising Part 2 Ch. 4-5 | Horus Rising Part 2 Ch. 6 and 7 | Horus Rising Part 3 Ch. 1-2 | Horus Rising Part 3 Ch. 3-4

Character Glossary:

The Emperor: But not the important one.

Loken: Our main character who is a struggle to relate to due to his inability to emote.

Abaddon: A captain who has anger issues I think.

HORUS: The Warmaster.  Also apparently a god?  Who is very peaceful for a leader with a raging desire to kill everything.

Sadie: A remembrancer with a strangely shaped head who becomes BFF’s with Loken.

Ig: A remembrancer who is kind of a jerk, but grows on you.

Keeler: A remembrancer who is awesome, and ends up suffering from PTSD.

Tarik: Loken’s best friend and part of the Mournival.

Sindermann: A sweet old man who likes books and is highly respected by Loken

Memed: An iterator who has little to no importance in the story.

Lowercase Horus: A member of the Mournival.

Ezekyle: A member of the Mournival.

Peeter Egon Momus: An architect who has little to no importance to the story.

Brothers of HORUS: Sanguinius, Lorgar, Fulgrim, Angron, Perturabo, Guilliman, Russ, Lion, Khan, and Dorn

Jubal: Did not get a promotion, doesn’t handle it very well.

Krasten and Flora: Two remembrancers who hang out with Keeler briefly.

Vipus: An Astartes, friends with Loken I think.

Saul: An idiot who executes good ideas poorly and lets other people take credit for it.

Lucius: Saul’s friend I think, turns into a defensive ego defending mess.

Sardine: Not his actual name, but close enough.

Eidolon: The commander of the Astartes that go to Murder.  Kind of a massive a-hole.

August: The month of my birth. Oh wait, you mean a character?

Eshkerrus: How does one pronounce?

Bulle: A member of Saul’s squad.

Marr: An Astartes with no importance to the story.

Qruze: An old war hero who is no longer relevant but everyone humors him anyway.

Sanguinius: One of HORUS’s brothers.  He’s actually a cool guy.

Malgohurst: An important strategist I think.

Daith Sehn: Envoy for the interex.

Erebus: A character thrown in at the last minute.

Mithras Tull: A Jethro Tull cover band.  I mean, an interex soldier with approximate status to Loken.

Judd Nelson: The leader of the interex, but not his actual name.

Hatchet’s Top [3] Christmas Albums

I hate Christmas music.

Yeah, I said it.  I hate Christmas music.

Honestly, most of it stems from a burning desire to dislike anything that is popular.  And I suppose ‘hate’ is a bit dramatic.  I dislike a large majority of Christmas music, however there are a few albums that I tolerate more than others.  So here are a few albums that prove that, despite hating Christmas music, I don’t hate Jesus.  (Obviously I do not hate Christmas.  I’m just sick of terrible covers of Wham!’s “Last Christmas”)

August Burns Red Presents: Sleddin’ Hill, A Holiday Album – 2012,’14,’15sleddinhillSleddin’ Hill, A Holiday Album is exactly what the title suggests.  Featuring two original songs composed by guitarist J.B. Brubaker, and various instrumental covers of such beloved Christmas classics as “Frosty the Snowman”, “Sleigh Ride”, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”, “Jingle Bells”, “O Holy Night” featuring the Lancaster Bible College Choir directed by Dr. Robert Bigley (vocals kick in around 3:35), “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, “Little Drummer Boy”, “Winter Wonderland”, “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”, “Carol of the Bells”, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”, and “Joy to the World”.  You can tell the album is supposed to be listened to during Christmas due to the excessive use of sleigh bells and wood blocks.  I always enjoy a good instrumental rendition of anything, and if it’s metal, well even better.  That double-bass pedal really brings the Christmas cheer to my soul.  Also there are banjos ❤

Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas Eve and Other Stories – 1996
christmas-eve-and-other-stories-coverTrans-Siberian Orchestra are pretty awesome.  Symphonic anything is my favourite type of music and they certainly have some incredible tracks.  While I don’t listen to the full album as I prefer the instrumental tracks, it is definitely worth it to give the whole thing at least one solid listen.  This album is the first in a trilogy of rock operas.  My favourite track is “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24” as it mashes together two of my favourite Christmas songs “Carol of the Bells” and “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen”.  All those squealing guitars and grandiose orchestras.

Christopher Lee A Heavy Metal Christmas and A Heavy Metal Christmas Too – 2012, ’13leeChristopher Lee was secrectly a metalhead and it’s the coolest thing.  With four studio albums, three EP’s, and a plethora of guest appearances, Lee was the oldest (probably) active metal musician evah.  If you’ve seen the original Wicker Man, then you know that Lee has one heck of a bass.  And the guy even looks like Santa!  What more could you want!?!  While I’m not sure that his operatic bass lends itself to metal, you’ve got to admit that this stuff is great.  And the idea of Saruman going Christmas caroling is awesome.  Also his song “Jingle Hell” pretty accurately describes my feelings about the season I mean I love Christmas!

Since I’ll probably do this again next year, I’ve got save the rest so I actually have something to write about.  Merry Christmas, and keep cranking out those metal covers everybody!

I’ll be watching Alien and Nightmare Before Christmas under the tree if you need me.

This has been According to Hatchet, thanks for being here!

-Hatchet ❤

[Photo Creds: Pusheen | ABR | TSO | Lee]