I hate Christmas music.
Yeah, I said it. I hate Christmas music.
Honestly, most of it stems from a burning desire to dislike anything that is popular. And I suppose ‘hate’ is a bit dramatic. I dislike a large majority of Christmas music, however there are a few albums that I tolerate more than others. So here are a few albums that prove that, despite hating Christmas music, I don’t hate Jesus. (Obviously I do not hate Christmas. I’m just sick of terrible covers of Wham!’s “Last Christmas”)
August Burns Red Presents: Sleddin’ Hill, A Holiday Album – 2012,’14,’15Sleddin’ Hill, A Holiday Album is exactly what the title suggests. Featuring two original songs composed by guitarist J.B. Brubaker, and various instrumental covers of such beloved Christmas classics as “Frosty the Snowman”, “Sleigh Ride”, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”, “Jingle Bells”, “O Holy Night” featuring the Lancaster Bible College Choir directed by Dr. Robert Bigley (vocals kick in around 3:35), “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, “Little Drummer Boy”, “Winter Wonderland”, “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”, “Carol of the Bells”, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”, and “Joy to the World”. You can tell the album is supposed to be listened to during Christmas due to the excessive use of sleigh bells and wood blocks. I always enjoy a good instrumental rendition of anything, and if it’s metal, well even better. That double-bass pedal really brings the Christmas cheer to my soul. Also there are banjos ❤
Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas Eve and Other Stories – 1996
Trans-Siberian Orchestra are pretty awesome. Symphonic anything is my favourite type of music and they certainly have some incredible tracks. While I don’t listen to the full album as I prefer the instrumental tracks, it is definitely worth it to give the whole thing at least one solid listen. This album is the first in a trilogy of rock operas. My favourite track is “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24” as it mashes together two of my favourite Christmas songs “Carol of the Bells” and “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen”. All those squealing guitars and grandiose orchestras.
Christopher Lee A Heavy Metal Christmas and A Heavy Metal Christmas Too – 2012, ’13Christopher Lee was
secrectly a metalhead and it’s the coolest thing. With four studio albums, three EP’s, and a plethora of guest appearances, Lee was the oldest (probably) active metal musician evah. If you’ve seen the original Wicker Man, then you know that Lee has one heck of a bass. And the guy even looks like Santa! What more could you want!?! While I’m not sure that his operatic bass lends itself to metal, you’ve got to admit that this stuff is great. And the idea of Saruman going Christmas caroling is awesome. Also his song “Jingle Hell” pretty accurately describes my feelings about the season I mean I love Christmas!
Since I’ll probably do this again next year, I’ve got save the rest so I actually have something to write about. Merry Christmas, and keep cranking out those metal covers everybody!
I’ll be watching Alien and Nightmare Before Christmas under the tree if you need me.
This has been According to Hatchet, thanks for being here!